twentysomething woes

gratitude attitude

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 13:05:00 -0400

So, I’ve realized these last few months that my focus has really started to circle around a lot of the negative aspects in my life as opposed to the positive. I realize this is happening because I’m not completely happy with the place I am in personally, so, as human nature would have it (or maybe its the Aries slash perfectionist in me), my mind constantly goes to the things that may be WRONG as opposed to RIGHT in my life. It look a little somebody by the name of Oprah Winfrey to help me realize this. I know, I know. So cliche. OPRAH. Whose life hasn’t she affected at some point or the other, right? No, but for real…

Anyone remember the gratitude books she coined 15 years ago on her show? You were supposed to keep a daily journal on the little things in your day to day that you were thankful for. Back in 1997, that sort of thing seemed like a waste of time to me. I was a freshman in High School. I didn’t see the “bigger picture” (or cared to), then. I guess it takes a little more life experience to understand the magnitude of something like the bigger picture. I get it now.

So, here I am. Blogging about it. Granted, Tumblr probably wasn’t the type of journal Oprah had in mind, but I think that its the perfect outlet for this sort of project. I DO have a lot that I am thankful for daily, despite the bigger picture. The bigger picture is not what keeps us going day to day. It’s the little things. The compliment on my outfit this morning. The sweet kisses from my pup. The laughs my Mom and I shared on the phone last night. I get it.

So, that being said, I’m going to start documenting these daily bits of gratitude here. Hopefully you all don’t mind. Maybe it will help some of you recognize that this life really is pretty great after all.

So, cheers to the attitude of gratitude. Thanks, Oprah!

30.

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 20:35:30 -0500

You know what’s crazy? I’m going to be 30 in two months. My life has already started to flash before my eyes and I’m slightly freaked out. I realize I have been totally absent from this blog for the past year or so, but I’d say the big THREE-OH requires a resurrection from the bloggers-graveyard to “commemorate” this terrifying occasion. I’m trying to get in that “its just a number” mindset, but Jesus Christ, it’s a scary ass number. So big. So intimidating. So…ugly. I guess I have this notion that women are suddenly significantly less desirable once they hit 30. Is it my head? 29 just sounds better. Looks better on paper, too. 30 is officially big girl territory. No more doing stupid things and justifying them because I’m “young and living out my 20’s.” No more no more relying on Mom and Dad. This is it. Its all downhill from here. My boobs, the bags under my eyes, my metabolism. Good lord.

With the big day coming up, I suppose I’d have to change my blog name. No longer are my woes that of a young 20Something. It’s only fair, right? ThirtySomethingWoes sounds even more depressing than the actual number. Dirty Thirty? Flirty Thirty? Gross. Fuck it. I have two months left. I’ll worry about it then.

dear blog

Thu, 21 Oct 2010 00:49:24 -0400

Dear BLOG,

I’m so sorry I’ve neglected you recently. I haven’t forgotten about you. In fact, you cross my mind at times and I’m reminded how much I miss you, but I just don’t know what to say to you right now. I have no thoughts, no news, no rants and raves to bitch to you about. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zero. My life right now is pretty slow and pretty boring. I guess that’s a good thing, but I know you’ve missed me. I promise I’ll try harder but sometimes distance just makes the heart grow a little fonder. Don’t you agree?

Don’t forget about me, either. I’ll be back as soon I’ve got something juicy for you. It’ll be good, too. I promise.

Love your faithful friend,

TwentySomethingWoes

Bloody Encounter

Wed, 15 Sep 2010 20:45:00 -0400

I went to get some blood drawn today and there is a guy that works there who always hits on me. I’m NOT interested. I frequent that particular lab every 4 months or so and he’s been there the past two times. First of all, let me just say I think it’s very unprofessional to hit on customers. Especially in an environment like that. I mean, I’m getting poked with a freakin’ needle and urinating in a Styrofoam cup and you’re saying I’m cute and asking if I’m married. Talk about weird.

Then it got me thinking. Would I mind getting hit on if the lab technician was totally cute? Probably not. I also probably wouldn’t have lied and said I was “practically married” when Lord knows I’m just about as single as can be.

Paging Dr. McDreamy, Paging Edward Cullen… Please, someone other than THAT GUY, come and take my blood.

hey boys. do this.

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 17:51:01 -0400

Dear Boys, If you want to do something sweet that is cheap and will absolutely melt a girl’s heart, buy them some flowers. BETTER YET, SEND them some flowers. As in delivery. Yes, old skool. I guarantee you, you’ll get super bonus points. What is it about flowers that girls love so much? I’ll tell you what it is. It’s a gesture that has been around for hundreds of years and us girls simply appreciate the chivalry. In a time where texting is the new “courting,” this small but meaningful act can go a long way. Now, who wants to send me some? I’m not picky. I love them all. =)

I think I have ADD

Tue, 31 Aug 2010 17:24:00 -0400

Is it possible to develop ADD as an adult? I think I have it. Self diagnosed, that is.

I never used to have ADD. I used to be able to sit down and write a 20 page paper in like 3 hours in college. It was so easy to just “get in the zone” and focus. Not so much now. Not at all. Now, my mind is constantly in a million places at once and not because I have a million things going on either. I might have 2 or 3 things going on, but never a million. Thank GOD never a million. I might be suicidal if that were the case.

I also procrastinate a lot. I think this probably goes hand in hand with ADD. Sometimes I tell my brain, “Brain! Just DO THE DAMN THING ALREADY AND STOP THINKING ABOUT IT!” My brain never listens. Bad brain.

There might be too many distractions going on while I’m trying to get something done. This is a typical day in the life of my brain:

Oh, gotta check my Facebook.
NO! Work on the marketing proposal. Its due on Thursday, you only have 2 days left.
Let me go on Twitter real quick.
NO! THE PROPOSAL!
But, I have a great idea for a blog post on Tumblr. That date I went on last week was just….
STOP! YOU FOOL. FOCUS.
Oh, Mom just emailed me asking for that ceviche recipe. Where the heck did I put that thing?
SERIOUSLY?
Fuck! I forgot that my credit card payment was due yesterday. OMG, I don’t even want to think about the late fee…
YOU suck balls, I hate you.

And so you have it. Officially ADD. Now what was working on before I started this damn blog? Oh yeah, the marketing proposal.

FML

tough town

Fri, 27 Aug 2010 20:01:00 -0400

I read an article the other day in the Huffington Post that was interesting to me, but yet not very surprising. Some guy, Dr. Ali Binazir (and I apologize Dr. Ali, I don’t know who you are or what your “cred” is) wrote an article titled, “Is Los Angeles the toughest town for Singles?”

The answer is: YES! Thank you for analyzing the question and putting it into article form. Finally, after years of discussing this very thing and these very points with my girlfriends, it’s nice to see our thoughts published. And by a GUY of all people. I’m glad that A. I’m not crazy. B. I’m not anti-social. C. I’m not ugly. (I’m not… RIGHT?)

I began to wonder these things about myself since living here the past 5 years. Dating here sucks, but I feel a little relieved that so many people think the same thing. I love you LA, but you’re a tough town, man.

So, what do I do now? Start a Facebook group on how George Clooney needs to date me. No SERIOUSLY! May as well aim high, right? JOIN THE DAMN GROUP.

bucket list

Thu, 19 Aug 2010 17:13:00 -0400

I’ve always wanted to create a bucket list, but I’ve never actually taken the time to sit down and write out all of the things I want to do and accomplish in my lifetime. In recent deep thoughts about the current state of my life (see previous blog post “More to Life” http://twentysomethingwoes.tumblr.com/post/872295258/more-to-life) I’ve decided that now is the perfect time to write this list of bucket. Sure, some of these things are pretty unrealistic, but it’s a wish list of sorts and I definitely dream big.

1. Own my own company and be my own boss. (This WILL happen, by the way.) I refuse to work for “the man” my whole life. Time to put all my wacky, brainy ideas to good use.

2. Learn to play the piano. Always wanted to do it. Just need the patience and a good teacher. And maybe longer fingers. Ay!

3. Learn to play the guitar. (See #2)

4. Travel the world for a year. Greece, Spain, Ireland, Italy, Japan, Hawaii, French Polynesia, Brazil, Australia, just to name a few.

5. Explore my family tree. One of my Aunt’s did some research years ago when I was very young. I think it is important to learn where I came from. Afterall, it made me who I am today!

6. Get in crazy shape. Ehhh kind of weird to include on a bucket list, but hey, it IS something I want to do. I can’t wait for the day when I call the gym my BFF. And I rock a teeny bikini.

7. Sing with one of my idols. Whether it be a duet or on freakin’ backup vocals, I want to sing with one of my musical inspirations. Remember when one of Oprah’s wildest dreams was to sing with Tina Turner? That’s totally me. Minus the Tina part. Tina is cool and has some rockin’ legs, but I think Alicia Keys or John Mayer is more up my alley.

8. Learn how to build a website. That is the tech geek in me. Hey, I’ve always wanted to learn!

9. Help homeless animals. Whether it be volunteering at a shelter or owning my own shelter one day, I want to help my furry four legged friends.

10. Learn a different language. Those 4 years of Spanish in high school did nothing for me =(

11. Swim with the Dolphins. Just because its hella cool.

12. Go deep sea fishing with my Dad. Because we both love to fish.

13. Record an album. Just for fun.

14. Own a house with a killer patio and pool. Because I love sweet patios and pools!

15. Buy land. Hey, I said I dream big.

16. Meet Alicia Keys, George Clooney and Prince. Because I love them all.

17. Live in Nashville for awhile. This city just seems so fuckin’ cool. And I want to be a country girl for a short part of my life. Just a short part though! ;-)

18. Dance in the rain. Preferably in Paris.

19. Learn to make homemade sushi. I am a sushi addict.

20. Buy a house in the same city as me for my parents. Because living 2,000 miles away from them now is way too hard!

21. Fall in love. REAL LOVE.

(Note: I may be editing this and adding to it later.)

PUGs

Wed, 18 Aug 2010 18:51:00 -0400

Went out the other night to a bar. Errrr, lounge. Whatever the kids are calling it these days. I encountered something that night that I’ve encountered on numerous occasions. Numerous meaning almost every time I go for a night on the town. If you are a relatively cute single girl, you probably know what I’m talking about.

The persistent ugly guy. The PUGs.

Why are the ugly and often weird guys the ones with the most balls? They are always trying to get their hustle on at the bars with the ladies, and with all the confidence in the world, mind you. Let’s be honest. We all KNOW they probably get rejected more times in a night than they would like to account for, but they just keep a ’treckin’. I at least admire their tenacity and efforts. It can’t be easy.

Let’s not forget one thing here. It’s not like these particular PUGs are charming or even hold a decent conversation. If they were, I would have no qualms about chatting for a bit. I might even consider giving out my number if we really hit it off. I’m not THAT much of a shallow bitch. But these dudes are just lame, creepy and FAR too persistent than I want ANY guy that I just meet to be. No girl wants to be proposed to 30 seconds into our conversation UNLESS you are Brad Pitt, John Stamos or Mr. Johnney Mayer. (Note my previous blog posts for these celeb hottie references. Ha.)

What I really want to know about these PUGs is, are you trying just for the sake of trying? Like a, “Ehhh, what do I have to lose” type thing? Or do you genuinely think you can score that 10 of a babe in the corner you keep eying who is clearly out of your league?

Look, I’m no Kim Kardashian, I know this, but sometimes it’s a bit of an ego blow when the only guys that seem to approach me are the PUGs. I’m not all that, but I know that me and you, Mr. PUG, are not on the same level. Not trying to be a conceited bitch, I’m just stating the obvious.

Meanwhile, the tall dark and handsome hottie at 2’oclock holding the beer has probably never hit on a girl in his life. He doesn’t need to because the ladies make it easy and come to him. He’s never had to work for it, which is why he thinks he’s God’s gift to women. He’s just as much trouble. Damn him too, that HEG. Hot, Egotistical Guy.

And this is why I rarely go out anymore, kids. =)

ping!

Mon, 09 Aug 2010 20:27:00 -0400

Why is it, whenever you stop thinking about someone, they manage to somehow weasel their way back into your life? It’s like they receive a little notification via their brain that says, “Hi (insert jerk-face guy’s name here)! Just thought I would let you know that (insert your name here) has just stopped thinking about you. Time to ping her!” It seriously never fails.

Some Food for Thought.

future kelly kapowski

Wed, 04 Aug 2010 21:39:00 -0400

My old college roommate and I used to aspire to be like Kelly Kapowski. (Shout out to Ash… wud up guuurrrrl!) As in Saved by the Bell Kelly Kapowski. We really did. She just had it all. The style, the body, the boy. (Hello? Zack Morris!) Everything came so easily for her. She was the pretty, popular girl yet everyone always seemed to like her. Isn’t that what we all aspire to anyway? Thanks, Kelly! I’m almost there!

The sign we displayed ever so proudly in our dorm room.

to the happy facebook couples

Tue, 03 Aug 2010 14:18:00 -0400

There are a few people on my Facebook that only seem to post pictures of themselves with their significant other. Every. Single. Picture. WHY? Please, tell me why. That tells people that either A. You’re obsessed with that person. or B. You have neglected everyone else in your circle and that other person is your only other current attachment to the human life form. Lame, totally lame.

Their photo captions usually consist of the following:

“My Babe and I.”

“Love you Babe.”

“My Love.”

BARF!!! Sometimes I even comment, “Get a room” hoping they’ll take the hint or something. They usually don’t get it.

I don’t even know why I care so much, but honest to God, it’s just annoying. And I’m not jealous, in case you were thinking that. I’m happy that you are so in love, really I am, but that isn’t enough to stop me from hiding your updates. You’re lucky I don’t just delete your obsessive asses.

I really enjoy my alone time. Like, REALLY enjoy it. I’ve...

Sun, 01 Aug 2010 23:35:28 -0400

I really enjoy my alone time. Like, REALLY enjoy it. I’ve never really been one of those people that feels like they need to be surrounded by people at all times to be comfortable. Those people are a little annoying, needy and extremely clingy. I love my friends and am extemely social, but sometimes I would rather be cooped up in my apartment by myself with some candles, a glass of wine and a Real Housewives of New Jersey marathon. Kind of like tonight. Here’s the view from my recliner. Bliss.

more to life

Wed, 28 Jul 2010 17:43:41 -0400

I think I am going through a quarter life crisis.

I’ve really started to evaluate my life recently. My job. My love life (or lack thereof). My place in this world. I’ve ultimately decided that I really don’t feel completely fulfilled. Deep huh?

There’s got to be more to life.

I want to be able to travel the world for a year at the very least. Learn and experience different cultures, speak the languages, have a whirl-wind romance with some gorgeous Greek guy who ends up showing me the real meaning of what love is. And if he happens to look like John Stamos, all the more awesome. No, really. I want that.

I feel like I am at the point in my life where I no longer know exactly what I want to do with myself. I’m confused about what my “calling” is but know that its got to be something bigger than what is now. At the end of the day, I want to feel like I’m doing some kind of good in the world. Helping someone or doing good somewhere somehow. I don’t feel that now. I wonder how many people actually feel that at the end of the day… Probably not many.

I haven’t read the book, but I can’t wait to see the movie EAT PRAY LOVE. I think it will be very inspirational for me. In the meantime, if you’d like to contribute to my “Travel the world to find myself” fund, hit me up. Gladly taking donations! I can’t make it happen on my salary, that’s for sure.

Picture of the Greek Islands. Where my very own John Stamos awaits.

johnney mayer...sigh

Fri, 23 Jul 2010 19:50:00 -0400

If you know me, you probably know about my strange affection for a certain musician by the name of John Mayer. You’re probably thinking, “He has some good songs, but he’s such a douche-bag.”

That’s the response I typically get.

Listen, I know this. But I still want to marry the guy. Okay, so he’s not really the marrying kind. At least not now. He’s pretty self-consumed, loves himself a whole lot, treats girls, GOOD GIRLS (Jessica, Jen, Jennifer Love) like he treats his guitars. Plays them sweetly for awhile but then ends up smashing them when the show is over. Their hearts, that is.

But, despite all that, he’s just totally my type. Tall, good-looking but not TOO good-looking. Smart, funny, sarcastic and witty as hell. He’s confident and artsy but still a bit of a manly man. Sure, he’s super cocky. Even border-line douchey, but wouldn’t you know, I seem to be attracted to those types. Grrrr. I hate that about myself sometimes. Oh, and did I mention that he’s a MUSICIAN? Yeah, that’s all I really need. I’ve always said the most romantic thing a guy could ever do for me is write me a song. And Jesus Christ, if some guy ever wrote me a song like “Your Body is a Wonderland,” I would probably marry them right then and there. I’m a sucker for that shit.

Lets not forget the obvious here. The guy is hella talented. He’s an amazing lyricist and guitar player, both of which I don’t think he gets enough credit for. His voice isn’t too shabby, either. I’m not gonna lie - I wouldn’t mind a private serenade.

I’ve seen Mr. Mayer in concert a few times and I even met him once at a private “impromptu” show he announced on Twitter not even an hour beforehand. One of the perks of living LA, I suppose. On my way into the tiny club, a herd of paparazzi mistook me for someone famous or perhaps (in my dreams) maybe his current lady friend. Long blond hair, a fedora and some heels can throw a lot of people off in this town. I think it was the fedora that did it. I love that damn hat.

He was everything I thought he would be. Handsome, funny and charming. When I asked him for a picture, he snatched my camera from me and started to pretend to take pictures of my friend and I. “Look fierce! Now show me sultry.” Sigh. I’ll show you sultry, Johnney Boy!

I’ve heard some crazy-ass stories about him through friends. Weird shit, actually. Kinky shit. My favorite is the Vegas story, but we won’t get into that right now. That story deserves a blog in itself. But these stories don’t deter me. No, they just intrigue me more.

Let me add a small disclaimer here. I’m in no way any kind of John Mayer stalker or obsess-er. He’s merely just a celebrity crush whose music I thoroughly appreciate and enjoy. I don’t have his posters on my wall or his newest single on my phone as my ring tone. I don’t follow him on tour or tweet him on Twitter. Though, he did tweet ME a Happy Birthday tweet two years ago. No lie. He must know we’re meant to be. hah! I enjoy being a fan and hope he continues making music for a long time. If he wants to ask me out on a date too, hey, that’s totally cool. I’m sure we can work something out.

Oh, and he has a tumblr blog too that is quite amusing if you care to check it out: http://jhnmyr.tumblr.com/

So, I will leave you with my favorite Johnney Mayer song, “Slow Dancing in a Burning Room.” This song makes me want to do bad things! Very bad things!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32GZ3suxRn4

Call me, JM! ;-)

moms

Thu, 22 Jul 2010 12:28:25 -0400

Why is it that sometimes, you just need your Mom to make all things in life better? And it usually works. At least temporarily.

She’ll take you to the grocery store to stock up on the “healthy” more expensive food that you usually avoid buying on a regular basis because you cringe at spending more than $80.00 at the grocery store per visit. She’ll even make you your favorite dishes and freeze the majority of them so you have something other than frozen pizza or take out Chinese for the next few weeks. She’ll probably clean your apartment for you, or in my case, shampoo my carpets since they are usually in desperate need of it because of the dogs. You’ll argue with her and tell her that it’s just not necessary, but she’ll always insist. Then, she’ll make her way around your apartment and fix or refill anything that needs fixing or refilling. This includes light bulbs, hand soap, sugar, etc. Of course, she’ll take you shopping and offer to buy you a new pair of shoes because the ones you are currently wearing don’t “provide enough support.” Then she just may insist on taking you for some new clothes just because, according to her, “that is just what Moms do. No matter what your age.”

When things in life are pretty shitty, Mom always tells you that it’ll get better. There is always some kind of silver lining, even if you can’t in any possible way see it at the moment. It’s hard being 3,000 miles away from mine.

Sometimes you just need your Mommy and I just can’t wait to see mine.

Me too. Beautiful. Just Beautiful. sothenshe: I want a picture...

Wed, 21 Jul 2010 20:00:20 -0400

Me too. Beautiful. Just Beautiful.

sothenshe:

I want a picture like this with the love of my life.

exercise, i hate you.

Thu, 15 Jul 2010 01:18:08 -0400

Why do some of us ladies (“us ladies” meaning me) have such a hate/hate relationship with EXERCISE? It’s terrible, it really is. I just hate working out. I’m not good at it. I hate sweating. Okay, and maybe I’m a little lazy. I mean, who wouldn’t rather be sitting on their ass watching TV instead? Right? Anyone who says otherwise is lying through their teeth.

If there were some kind of pill I could take to burn calories or tone my abs, best believe I would pay crazy money for that shit. Even if it wasn’t FDA approved, I still might consider taking it. If it meant not having to exercise, I’m down like bozo the clown. word.

I did have a gym membership but I cancelled it because I never went. Where do these people that have full time jobs actually have time to squeeze in a workout everyday? I work from 9-6ish everyday. The last thing I want to do when the workday is done is get sweaty and move my body. Seriously. Like, who DOES that?

Sometimes I feel guilty that I don’t go to the gym so I don’t eat carbs. Ha. As if that is going to tone my ass or something. In my mind, I’d like to think so.

I’m feeling guilty just writing this blog and reading these words. I’m terrible, I really am. Maybe I should re-join the damn gym.

Who am I kidding? I’m sitting here watching the Bachelorette eating a burrito. Why would I want to give this amazingness up?!

I wish Tumblr had a “mood status” like MySpace...

Tue, 13 Jul 2010 21:36:20 -0400

I wish Tumblr had a “mood status” like MySpace but strictly for pictures. This would be mine. I’m kind of a bitter Betty this week. No?

I often wonder if Maxine is trapped inside the body of a 28 year...

Mon, 12 Jul 2010 21:08:21 -0400

I often wonder if Maxine is trapped inside the body of a 28 year old midwestern white girl. Mine perhaps. We’re totally always on the same page.